#2/ grow, grow, grow
It's been such a long time since I've wrote. I told myself I would keep it up but I actually forgot I even had a blog. Which explains my ONE blog post. It's 1:34am and I'm listening to Garbage's debut album (8-bit version by Daryl Banner, BRILLIANT WORK.) The past 7 months have been so unbelievably insane for me. I feel I've learned more as a person than I ever have in my entire life. Coming closer and closer to finding myself and maintaining a happy place, whilst also still battling my demons and then some more. There have been high moments and low moments. But I can safely say though it has been rough, this has probably been the most important year of my life thus far. Not only is it the year I became legal (18, and I hate it) But it's also the year I've had countless magical moments, inspiring me to the fullest effect. I've met new friends, came back together with old friends, met one of my biggest idols, seen some amazing live shows, learned what love and heartbreak really was, went to a four day festival which to me was like a hidden paradise. But most importantly, I've wrote music nearly every single day. I'm at a point where everything is literally just pouring out of my soul. Pouring out of my head onto a blank canvas which the possibilities are infinite. I've never been as inspired and motivated as I have been the past few months. I've found that when shitty things happen to you, not only do you grow, but it's almost as if you're a completely different person afterward. Whether it's for the better or worse is 100% up to you. As for now, I've dedicated myself to the only stable, sure thing I know I will have and that's my relationship with my writing and my music. The feeling of writing my stories, sorrows, longings and happiness into a decent song is the greatest feeling I've ever felt. I've felt this way most of my life, however right now I've learned to fully fully appreciate it. The pain of sitting down and saying "okay what's fucking with you today" and digging so deep inside your own thoughts. It can be a bit maddening. But turning that into a song or poem or anything, is not only a beautiful pain but you learn so much about yourself. And once it's complete, it's like an out pour of pure joy for me. It's unlike anything I've ever felt before. If you have interest or are interested in my music, I have so much in store for the next few months. Not jinxing myself yet, but original music will be posted as well as some covers. As for the mixtape THE NOISE I was going to post in February but kept postponing, it will not be released. Mostly because I'm on such a fast pace when it comes to writing and a lot of the songs I'd recorded demos for were YEARS old. I found myself writing better songs about different topics that didn't flow with the atmosphere I had originally intended. As for now, I do plan to release a mixtape. I've got 36 songs to picked carefully from my collection. I'm in the process of picking narrowing it down to 14 or 15. These are the ones who mean the most and say the most. "Strawberry Matter" being one of those songs. I've got a possible title and 5 semi complete tracks. All I know from there is I'm excited to get REALLY get started. More information will be provided in the following weeks. Thank you for your support! As for the blog, I will try to post every other day or so. I enjoy doing this whether anyone reads it or not. :p
much love, Hayden xxx
